My New Ways

I currently live my life in three hour increments. I feed Lyla, we play, she sleeps. Our three activities in those increments vary in length each time. Sometimes we play for an hour and then she sleeps for an hour and a half. Other times we play for two and a half hours and she only closes her eyes for five minutes. But regardless of the length of our activities, our lives still consist of these three hour increments.

Sometimes, I am still amazed when I really think about just how much my life has changed. No longer is my life ruled by a job, but rather a baby. I sometimes miss my old routine and my old ways - the ones that consisted of long runs all by myself, spur of the moment outings, weekend trips, plenty of good wine, date night, lots of cooking and baking, and plenty of "me" time. I miss my regularly scheduled bedtime and wake up time (not to mention the fact that it was uninterrupted, except for on Notre Dame home football weekends, then it was constantly interrupted by the students who lived next door that my father-in-law deemed "crazed!"). But now I live in these three hour increments and they repeat themselves incessantly.

Occasionally, I find myself getting frustrated. I miss my old ways. I keep telling myself that soon enough I will get back to them. Soon enough I will head out for a long solo run and push my body past it's limits. Soon enough I will get to spend endless hours in the kitchen testing new recipes and trying new techniques. Soon enough I will have that date night that includes dinner and a movie. Soon enough I will wear my heels again! Soon enough I will fit into my size 2 jeans. Soon enough, soon enough.

Today though my baby is no longer considered a "newborn." She is three months old and I am pretty sure that means I can no longer use the excuse "I just had a baby." For three months we have been getting to know each other and coming to learn each other's ways. For example, I have learned that Lyla's ways include laughing while she falls asleep; they include waking up in the middle of the night (at least for now); they include sucking on her hand whenever her pacifier falls out, they include grabbing onto her ear as she eats; they include giggling when you make "o" sounds; and they include making my heart ache at least four times every day. Her ways also include those three hour increments.

I took three whole months, but I think I have finally realized that I will never get back to my "old ways." It is time for new ways and I am ok with that. Although different and divided into three hour increments, these new ways are even better than my old ones for they include Lyla and life without her would be no life at all. So I am happy to take on these new ways. Although I will always be fond of those days long gone, I will excitedly look to the future and embrace my new ways with a heart full of love, a slow cooker, morning coffee and a jogging stroller - and hopefully someday soon my new ways will include a brand new pair of size 2 jeans.

Slow Cooker meal of the week: Classic Pot Roast (adapted from Cuisine)

Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a large saute pan. Sear a 4 lb beef roast on all sides.

Move the roast to the slower cooker and set on low. In the saute pan, add 1/4 cup of flour and 2 tablespoons of tomato paste. Cook for one minute. Deglaze the pan with 1/2 cup of white wine and cook for another minute or so. Add in 1 1/2 cups of beef broth and 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce.

Pour the sauce over the roast and set the slow cooker to low. Cleaning and chopping, combine 1 onion, 6 carrots and a few sticks of celery in a large bowl. Sprinkle with thyme and 3 bay leaves.

Add the vegetable mixture to slow cooker and let cook for 8 hours.

4 hours in

During the last thirty minutes of cooking, boil 2 lbs of cleaned and chopped red potatoes. Once tender, drain and add a tablespoon of butter, a splash of milk, and seasoned salt. Mash together and finally add in one bag of defrost peas (because let's be honest, we all know that on Thanksgiving your mashed potatoes are really only a vehicle for your peas).

Serve the roast with a splash of sauce, veggies, potatoes and bread for dipping!

Enjoy!

Just to See Her Smile

I am head over heels in love with Lyla. I never knew I could love anything or anyone this much. And although I am sure I'm biased, I am also pretty sure I have the cutest baby in the entire world. Every day she does something cuter than the day before and she wins me over in an instant when she smiles up at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes. It absolutely melts my heart. I can be going on 3 hours of sleep, be in desperate need of a shower, and wondering why it is that she has not stopped crying for the last hour, and then she smiles at me and it all becomes worth it.

Melts your heart, doesn't it?

As crazy in love that I am with her, I cant lie. Having a two month old baby can make many simple things just a tad bit difficult. Cooking is one of them. Her naps are still unpredictable and dinner time is usually the fussiest time of the day. Even going to the grocery store (something that I use to love) has now become a frantic race to see how quickly I can get items into the cart. And more often than not, I end up grabbing things that I have no purpose for and missing the majority of items I had actually intended to buy. Yesterday, for example I was the crazy lady at Metro Mart pushing a huge cart with a carseat on top, holding a screaming kid in my other hand and just throwing things into the cart (if you saw me there, I apologize!). I'd push the cart forward, grab the next item and repeat. I am sure I was a sight to see. She cried the entire time I was in the store, then took it up a whole other notch when I tried to put her back in her car seat so we could drive home. The poor thing exhausted herself so much that this is what I had when we finally arrived home:

Note the bag of groceries being held captive under her car seat.

Adorable? Yes. Great cooking partner? Hell no. So as we continue to adjust to life with a little one, fancy and fun has gone out the door and quick and easy meals have replaced them. Two of our favorite go to meals have been barbecue pork in the slow cooker and pesto chicken.

My slow cooker has probably become my best friend over the last 2 months (thank you C. Brown!). It is wonderful to be able to throw a few items in the cooker at the beginning of the day and return to it 8 hours later to find a delicious meal. It has saved me many-a-times. This one is actually a recipe that my mom had shared with me and it is oh-so-good. It is very similar to a pulled pork, but a million times more simple. So often I have spent hours preparing pulled pork, not to mention using an endless number of ingredients. This recipe requires 4 ingredients and about 10 minutes of your time.

Start off by cleaning and trimming your pork. Cover all sides with the rub of your choice, be it store bought or your own creation (I used an applewood rub). Place the pork in the slower cooker and add water until it reaches about half way up the pork. Cover and cook on high for 7-8 hours.

Once the meat is fork tender, drain the water keeping about 1 cup for the sauce. Next, shred the meat.

Add the cup of reserved water and about a cup of your favorite barbecue sauce (KC Masterpiece is obviously the best option here.) Stir together and let simmer on low for about 10-15 minutes.

Serve as is, or on a bun if you prefer and with the sides of your choice. Seriously, the easiest meal ever!

Our second quick and easy go to meal has been pesto chicken. Now, I know all of you are aware that I love growing my own basil. There is no better smell than that of freshly picked basil and the taste doesn't even compare to that of the store bought stuff. I also despise store bought pesto. It is just not the same as when you make it yourself. And pesto is so easy to make, there is no need to buy it.

To start off, take 2 cups of fresh basil and 1/4 cup of pine nuts and blend together. Add in 1/2 cup or so of extra virgin olive oil and blend until smooth. Finally add 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese.

On the thickest side of your chicken breast, using a knife, cut a pocket in the chicken. Add in about a tablespoon or so of the fresh pesto.

Cook the chicken at 425 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Add even amounts of the remaining pesto on top of the chicken along with a slice of tomato and a few drops of balsamic vinegar. Cook for 2 more minutes until the pesto and tomato have become warm.

I am sure someday soon I will be able to get back to cooking those fun, fancy meals (and in a few years, I have no doubt I will have that great cooking partner in my little Lyla! or at least a great cookie tasting partner.), but in the mean time, I'll continue to share some of the quick and easy ones I am relying on. And even on those shower-less, sleepless days, I know that I will always choose Lyla's beautiful smile over a home cooked meal. There is just nothing that can compare.

Lyla Reagan Fischer

It has been more than six weeks since I last posted. And while andbread has been silent, my life, over these last forty-odd days, has been anything but; a whirlwind of the new and the noisy. Just four days after my last post, my life was changed forever, as my husband and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world. After nine months of anxiously waiting and 17.5 hours of labor, Lyla Reagan Fischer finally decided to make her grand entrance. Lyla was born on June 26th at 11:11 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and measured 20 inches long.

For the last month-and-a-half, we have been adjusting to life with a newborn and loving every minute of it (well, almost every minute; the 3 A.M. feedings took some getting used to). I do have to admit that with Lyla here, there have been many nights that cooking has been the furthest thing from my mind. I have been able to whip up a few nice, homemade meals during nap time, but on those days when nap time just doesn't happen, I've been forced to find the easiest option which, quite often, has been sandwiches. I am proud to say though that I have yet to serve cereal for dinner (although give it time, I am sure it will happen).

This last weekend though was a very special weekend for our new, little family of three. Lyla was baptized and all of our family traveled great distances to be with us and celebrate as we welcomed Lyla into the Catholic Church.

It was a very special weekend and of course was worthy of a very special homemade meal. Our menu included slow cooked barbecue brisket (prepared by Adam), barbecue pork, roasted potatoes, fruit salad, green salad, broccoli salad, asian salad (yes there were a ton of salads!, but all very delicious), baked beans and vanilla cupcakes (recipe below). It took many hands and many hours to prepare all of this wonderful food, and it was the perfect way to celebrate an oh-so important moment in Lyla's life.

That evening as we all gathered to share the food together and support Lyla on her big day, I looked around the room at our wonderful family and felt my heart swell. This little girl of mine has no idea just how lucky she is; lucky to have a such a loving family that will support her, cheer her on, travel great distances for her and love her unconditionally and indefinitely. At six weeks old, she is already surrounded in love, with team of people standing behind her. 

So, my sweet, little Lyla, on this your baptism weekend, there are three things that I wish for you...

The first is faith. Faith in God that He will lead you and watch over you all of your life and that He will never abandon you. Faith in yourself, that you can accomplish anything and everything you will ever dream of and then some. Faith in your family, that we will always love you, always support you and always be here for you.

My second wish for you is knowledge. That you will have a constant and undying thirst for it. That you will always question and search for truth. And that when you cannot find your answers, that you will turn to God and rely on Him for wisdom.

And my final wish for you is love. That you will learn to love with your whole heart and without hesitation. That you will trust in the never-ending love that your parents have for you and fall on it during hard times. And that you, my baby girl, will one day have a child of your own and learn that there is a whole new level of love that you could have never even imagined existing.

Thank you to all of our family, especially Lyla's Godparents, for making her baptism weekend so wonderful. She truly is the luckiest little girl.

And as promised, the recipe for Lyla's Baptism Cupcakes (recipe from Allysa Torey, owner of Magnolia Bakery).

Vanilla Cupcakes

1 1/2 cups of self-rising flour

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

1 cup of butter, softened

2 cups of sugar

4 eggs

1 cup of milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Start by creaming the butter until smooth. Then add the sugar and beat together. Add one egg at a time until you have added all 4 and beat the batter between each egg. Add the flours in three parts alternating with the milk and vanilla. Do not over beat the batter.

Bake the cupcakes at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

Vanilla Buttercream

1 cup of butter, softened

6 cups of confectioners' sugar

1/2 cup of milk

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

In a large bowl mix together the butter, 4 cups of sugar, the milk and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Gradually add additional sugar as need, but only one cup at a time. Beat until smooth and until the icing has reached the desired consistency.

Note: In this warm weather, the frosting melts very quickly as you can tell by the furthest cupcake on the right. As soon as you have frosted the cupcakes, get them into the refrigerator to avoid melting. I had intended to add pink "L's" to the top of the cupcakes, but with the heat did not want them to turn into big pink blobs. Next time.

A First Father's Day

Although our little princess has yet to arrive, my husband has already been a wonderful father for the past nine months.  Even though we have not had the opportunity to hold her in our arms, in so many ways, my husband has stepped up to the plate and dominated his new role as a Dad. From that moment on October 17th, when I told him I was pregnant, he has done nothing but care and provide for the two of us; both on our good days and on our bad days.

He has watched as his wife has morphed into this entirely different person (two people to be exact!), he has listened to my irrational fears and dealt with a roller coaster of emotions. He has given up his clothes and has accepted that I have claimed some of his favorites as my own, and has told me over and over again that I look amazing, even though I actually look more like a whale than a woman. From day one, he has attended numerous doctors appointments (in three different states!), read through multiple baby books, played the baby name game for weeks on end, come to accept the color pink (even on Steelers and Penguins clothes) and to date has participated in 14+ hours of baby classes.

He has never once complained about our change in menu or the lack of wine at dinner. He has dealt with my aches and pains, provided numerous foot massages and comforted me when I realized that I could no longer run. He has made at least seven round trips to USA Baby, given up multiple Saturdays to pick out cribs and rocking chairs and has helped to assemble an endless number of baby items. I watched his face light up as he felt our little girl kick for the very first time and the million times since then.

He held my hair back as I embarrassingly puked over the side of a boat in front of some 30 strangers and his entire immediate family on a snorkeling trip in Hawaii last January. He convinced his friends to change the location of their boys weekend so that he wouldn't be too far away from me and then drove back early Sunday morning to check on me when I wasn't feeling well. He consoled me in the lobby of his office building as I fell apart after one particularly awful doctor's appointment. He was then my rock and comfort for the next four days, casting aside his own uncertainty, as we restlessly waited for an ultrasound that would confirm or dissipate our worst fears. He promised me over and over again that all would be ok and held my hand until the doctor reassured us that our baby was perfectly healthy.

He has dealt with me waking him up numerous times during the night because I cannot seem to find a comfortable sleeping position, nor stay asleep for very long. In the last week, he has assuaged my anxiety and reassured me that she will come, eventually, and that I will not be pregnant forever. I know he will be my strength and sanity during labor and delivery and he is the only person in the entire world I want by my side during that time.

Although he has not had the opportunity to change any dirty diapers yet, deal with 3 a.m. feedings, or endlessly play peek-a-boo, he has already become an amazing father. So on Sunday, I wanted to try and express my appreciation for all that he has done and dealt with over the last nine months and everything I know he will do in the years to come. So Sunday had to include a gift that every Dad needs: a Weber grill; and a meal that every Dad wants: steaks, potato salad, grilled corn and Blackberry Buttermilk Cake.

After surprising him with his new grill, he was put in charge of the steaks while I worked on the Blackberry cake.

I found the recipe for this cake in Bon Appetit's latest magazine which also happens to be their grilling edition (perfect for Adam's new Father's Day gift!). I started off by preparing a springform pan by lining it with parchment paper that I cut into a circle and greasing and flouring it. I've used this parchment paper technique in the past with other cakes, and it always works well. Afterwards, I lined the bottom of the pan with fresh blackberries and sprinkled them with a layer of sugar.

In a separate bowl, I sifted together 2 1/2 cups of flour, 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder, 3/4 teaspoon of salt, and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda.

In another bowl, I beat together 3/4 cup of room temperature butter and 1 3/4 cups of sugar. I continued to beat these items together until the mixture became a pale yellow color. I then incorporated 3 eggs, 2 teaspoons of vanilla and the zest of one orange.

After all of these ingredients had been fully mixed together, I alternately added in my flour mixture and 1 cup of buttermilk.

I then poured my batter over the blackberries and cooked the cake for an hour and twenty-five minutes in a 350 degree oven.

Once the cake had completely cooled, I removed it from the pan and dusted it with powdered sugar.

Meanwhile, Adam had been grilling up a storm with the steaks and the corn. I quickly prepared a light potato salad with a dijon and rosemary sauce. We then celebrated both our dads and all the other great dads and dads-to-be out there.

Now we are just waiting for our little princess to arrive. Happy Father's day to all the dads out there. And Adam, I cannot wait to see you with our baby girl. One day to go; I hope!

Stocking the Freezer - 7 days and counting!

Maternity leave is a wonderful thing. It gives you the time you need to make sure you are fully prepared for the soon-to-arrive bundle of joy; to wash every onesie, burp cloth and blanket; to fold them and organize them in their appropriate drawers; to take them back out, fold them a second time, and place them in a very similar, but strangely better spot. (I may or may not have done this several times already.) It allows you to assemble the stroller, hang some wall-hangings, and install the car seat, and that extra seat-base for the second car. Then, it affords the (probably unnecessary) opportunity to go back the next day and do it all over again, just in case. It lets you take your husband back to USA Baby for the umpteenth time, pick up that rocking chair (the last item for the nursery!), put it together and give it a few test rocks - just to make sure it's comfy and rocky and ready for our little bambino.  It is my last chance to do those last few things. And so, I have cleaned our condo from top to bottom, packed my hospital bag, read every baby book I own multiple times, organized the endless pile of diapers (that will somehow only manage to last us a week), set up the nursery and the bassinet, and assembled every swing, play gym and bouncer we own or ever could own. Oh, and I picked out a birth announcement.

But as of today I am 39 weeks pregnant, and I find myself restless and quickly running out of patience (not to mention clothes that fit - my poor husband has had to hand over his Notre Dame lacrosse shorts and multiple, mostly Steelers t-shirts because I refuse to buy any more maternity clothes this late in the game). So despite all of the wonderfulness, my maternity leave has also given me far too much time to sit around and over-analyze each and every slight pain, ache or never-felt-before sensation. With each one, I freeze, hoping that the time has finally come. I stare at the clock begging my body to do it again. Of course, nothing ever happens. My contractions are irregular and for the most part painless (although often times uncomfortable) and I find myself quickly realizing that yes, I will, in fact, be pregnant forever.

So today, one week out from my due date, I knew that I had to find something to keep my hands busy and my mind distracted. With every item on the baby checklist complete, the only thing left to do was stock the freezer. I know that whenever this baby finally decides to grace us with her presence, that we will be overjoyed and madly in love. But I also know that we will quickly become overwhelmed and beyond sleep deprived. (Insanely happy? Of course. Insanely sleepy? Uh, that too). I am sure on most days, the last thing I will have the time or energy to do will be to cook dinner. So in anticipation of the inevitable, and the need to just do absolutely anything before I lose my mind waiting for this sweet (though apparently stubborn) baby girl, I am going to make and freeze several meals over the course of the next week that can be easily reheated on a moment's notice. So for starters, the freezer's menu will include: Chicken and Vegetable Casserole, Minestrone, banana bread and/or muffins (at Adam's request) and today's dish: Spinach and Meat Lasagna.

Start off by boiling a large pot of water. Once the water comes to a rapid boil, add a touch of salt and 12 sheets of lasagna, and then bring back to a boil. Cook for approximately 8 minutes or until noodles are al dente. Meanwhile, brown 1 lb of ground beef over medium heat.

Once the meat is cooked, drain the excess grease and return to the burner. I happened to have leftover spicy Italian sausage from a meal earlier in the week, so I chopped it up and added it to my beef. Next, add a cup or so of homemade or store bought pasta sauce, a bit of pepper, onion powder and basil.

In a large bowl combine 15 ounces of ricotta cheese, 5 oz of shredded parmesan cheese, 2 eggs (beaten), and 10 ounces of chopped spinach.

Once the lasagna noodles are cooked, drain the pot and lay the noodles out so that they do not stick together and end up tearing.

In the bottom of a large lasagna pan (such as the one shown below by Mario Batali!) spread about 1/2 cup of your pasta sauce.

Layer 4 sheets of pasta, slightly over lapping. 

Next spread half of the ricotta and spinach mixture over the noodles until completely covered.

On top of the cheese mixture, spread 1/2 of the meat mixture.

Repeat the last 3 steps. Finally cover the entire dish with the remaining pasta sauce.

Cook for approximately 45 minutes at 375 degrees. Once the lasagna was completely cooled, I covered it and put it in the freezer for an easy to heat up meal once the baby arrives! Before serving, I will obviously be reheating it, but also adding plenty of mozzarella cheese and freshly chopped basil to the top. Cannot wait!

Adam had to have a piece before it went into the freezer.

Oh and just a word to the wise to any doctors out there: if you are going to tell an extremely pregnant woman at her 38 week appointment that her baby will be arriving "soon" you better mean within the next week or so, otherwise, you are just plain mean. Anytime between now and the Fourth of July is not considered to be "soon." Seven days (hopefully!) and counting and cannot wait!