I am Legendary

It was about four years ago that I was called legendary. Now some would take pride in being called such a name, but me, I was not pleased. We were at my in-laws house preparing for my now sister-in-law's wedding when this comment, which to this day still irks me, was made. Even today I still have no idea where this comment came from, why it was made or what previous comment made by an unknown third party brought it about. My husband sometimes still calls me legendary just to get a reaction out of me and it works; every time. It was my sister-in-law's soon to be mother-in-law who said it, and she is by far one of the sweetest, most generous people that I have met, so I cast no blame. But still this comment hit me like a bucket of cold water to the face. It was quick, simple and intended to be harmless.

"I hear you are a legendary sleeper."

I remember standing there, looking back at her, forcing a smile to my face, allowing a simple laugh to pass my lips, begging my cheeks not to turn red and forcing the annoyance which was exploding up through my body to go back down. My mind raced. I am a legendary sleeper? What? Why? Where in the hell did that come? Even if I am, how in the hell would she know? WHAT?

Again, I am positive that her intention was harmless, nothing more than smalltalk. Most people probably would not have even thought twice about it if the comment had been directed at them. But for some unknown reason it stuck with me. It bothered me. I hated it.

The day I was called Legendary.

I won't lie, like any other normal person, I do enjoy my sleep. I need a solid eight hours otherwise I drag all day and just do not feel like myself. Without eight hours I don't perform as well in work or play. But I am pretty sure eight hours does not make me legendary. Perhaps it was because at that time I was more of a night owl, staying up way too late, sleeping in later. Perhaps that gave off the impression that I was sleeping many more hours than just the simple eight. I do not know. I will probably never know, but I still hate that I was called legendary.

Fast forward to now. Sleep to me is like a drop of water to a lost man wandering the desert. I never get it, my body begs for it, I can barely remember what it feels like. Before Lyla was born people always said how babies sleep all of the time, for hours on end, how they look so peaceful when they are sleeping, just like little angels. My older sister Kelly even told me that her daughter slept so much at night that they would have to wake her to feed her. Well let me tell you, Lyla is not one of these babies. My husband and I joke that she actually hates to sleep. And even when she is sleeping, she doesn't look peaceful. She looks pissed. Her mouth scrunches together forming the most heart wrenching frown. Her fist stay locked in tight grips as if to say 'these mean parents of mine, they are making me do that sleep thing again.'  She is in no way legendary when it comes to sleeping. Apparently, and according to some, she does not take after her mother in this respect.

Lyla is more of a take a nice little nap then lets all get up and play kind of girl. At night when I put her to bed she fights, but I always win or so I think. Then about two hours later (give or take half an hour) she's up. I feed her, I change her, I rock her, but she doesn't want to sleep. Finally she goes back down and then as if she has an alarm inside her body, two hours later, she's up again. It wouldn't be so bad if I could fall back asleep immediately after putting her down, but no, my mind races and I lay in bed exhausted but awake. Sleep to me is a distant memory that I hope to one day know again.

"haha it's past my bedtime, but I get to stay up because my grandparents are here!"

A few weeks back after another sleepless night in which Lyla woke five times, I turned to my husband and told him that I am pretty sure my legendary status has been revoked.

I know that it will get better and eventually Lyla will learn to sleep through the night. After hearing from my sister Erica about an adorable little baby boy she knows named Oakes who is suffering from many health problems and still in the NICU, I can only count my blessing and thank God that our biggest challenge is a lack of sleep. I could not be more thankful for my beautiful baby girl who is healthy, growing leaps and bounds and learning with each new day. I am beyond blessed, and I am beyond grateful. And some day soon enough (I've said those words before) I hope to earn back my legendary status and when that happens, this time, I'll be proud.

For other sleepy parents out there, here is yet another slow cooker meal for when you are running low on energy.

Turkey Chili
In a saute pan, add one chopped onion and 1 1/4 lbs of ground turkey. Cook until browned.

Drain the meat mixture and add to the slower cooker. Add in one can of corn, drained. You can also use frozen corn if you prefer.

Next, add in one chopped red bell pepper, one chopped green bell pepper and two chopped jalapenos (seeds included, unless you prefer a milder chili.)

Following the peppers, add one can of crushed tomatoes and one can of whole tomatoes.

Add one can of black beans, drained and rinsed and about a cup of tomato sauce.

Now the fun part! Add in your seasonings. You can honestly add as little or as much of the seasoning as you want. Add in a little extra chili powder if you like a kick to your chili, a little less if you don't. I used a mixture of chili powder, coriander, cumin, oregano, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper. If you make the mixture before hand you can taste test and adjust to your likings. Finally mix all of the ingredients together and cook on low for 8 hours.

Serve with cheese and enjoy! As I am sure you have noticed, I am still loving my slow cooker!

Up next, our trip to the pumpkin patch and the delicious applesauce that resulted.

My New Ways

I currently live my life in three hour increments. I feed Lyla, we play, she sleeps. Our three activities in those increments vary in length each time. Sometimes we play for an hour and then she sleeps for an hour and a half. Other times we play for two and a half hours and she only closes her eyes for five minutes. But regardless of the length of our activities, our lives still consist of these three hour increments.

Sometimes, I am still amazed when I really think about just how much my life has changed. No longer is my life ruled by a job, but rather a baby. I sometimes miss my old routine and my old ways - the ones that consisted of long runs all by myself, spur of the moment outings, weekend trips, plenty of good wine, date night, lots of cooking and baking, and plenty of "me" time. I miss my regularly scheduled bedtime and wake up time (not to mention the fact that it was uninterrupted, except for on Notre Dame home football weekends, then it was constantly interrupted by the students who lived next door that my father-in-law deemed "crazed!"). But now I live in these three hour increments and they repeat themselves incessantly.

Occasionally, I find myself getting frustrated. I miss my old ways. I keep telling myself that soon enough I will get back to them. Soon enough I will head out for a long solo run and push my body past it's limits. Soon enough I will get to spend endless hours in the kitchen testing new recipes and trying new techniques. Soon enough I will have that date night that includes dinner and a movie. Soon enough I will wear my heels again! Soon enough I will fit into my size 2 jeans. Soon enough, soon enough.

Today though my baby is no longer considered a "newborn." She is three months old and I am pretty sure that means I can no longer use the excuse "I just had a baby." For three months we have been getting to know each other and coming to learn each other's ways. For example, I have learned that Lyla's ways include laughing while she falls asleep; they include waking up in the middle of the night (at least for now); they include sucking on her hand whenever her pacifier falls out, they include grabbing onto her ear as she eats; they include giggling when you make "o" sounds; and they include making my heart ache at least four times every day. Her ways also include those three hour increments.

I took three whole months, but I think I have finally realized that I will never get back to my "old ways." It is time for new ways and I am ok with that. Although different and divided into three hour increments, these new ways are even better than my old ones for they include Lyla and life without her would be no life at all. So I am happy to take on these new ways. Although I will always be fond of those days long gone, I will excitedly look to the future and embrace my new ways with a heart full of love, a slow cooker, morning coffee and a jogging stroller - and hopefully someday soon my new ways will include a brand new pair of size 2 jeans.

Slow Cooker meal of the week: Classic Pot Roast (adapted from Cuisine)

Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a large saute pan. Sear a 4 lb beef roast on all sides.

Move the roast to the slower cooker and set on low. In the saute pan, add 1/4 cup of flour and 2 tablespoons of tomato paste. Cook for one minute. Deglaze the pan with 1/2 cup of white wine and cook for another minute or so. Add in 1 1/2 cups of beef broth and 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce.

Pour the sauce over the roast and set the slow cooker to low. Cleaning and chopping, combine 1 onion, 6 carrots and a few sticks of celery in a large bowl. Sprinkle with thyme and 3 bay leaves.

Add the vegetable mixture to slow cooker and let cook for 8 hours.

4 hours in

During the last thirty minutes of cooking, boil 2 lbs of cleaned and chopped red potatoes. Once tender, drain and add a tablespoon of butter, a splash of milk, and seasoned salt. Mash together and finally add in one bag of defrost peas (because let's be honest, we all know that on Thanksgiving your mashed potatoes are really only a vehicle for your peas).

Serve the roast with a splash of sauce, veggies, potatoes and bread for dipping!

Enjoy!

Just to See Her Smile

I am head over heels in love with Lyla. I never knew I could love anything or anyone this much. And although I am sure I'm biased, I am also pretty sure I have the cutest baby in the entire world. Every day she does something cuter than the day before and she wins me over in an instant when she smiles up at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes. It absolutely melts my heart. I can be going on 3 hours of sleep, be in desperate need of a shower, and wondering why it is that she has not stopped crying for the last hour, and then she smiles at me and it all becomes worth it.

Melts your heart, doesn't it?

As crazy in love that I am with her, I cant lie. Having a two month old baby can make many simple things just a tad bit difficult. Cooking is one of them. Her naps are still unpredictable and dinner time is usually the fussiest time of the day. Even going to the grocery store (something that I use to love) has now become a frantic race to see how quickly I can get items into the cart. And more often than not, I end up grabbing things that I have no purpose for and missing the majority of items I had actually intended to buy. Yesterday, for example I was the crazy lady at Metro Mart pushing a huge cart with a carseat on top, holding a screaming kid in my other hand and just throwing things into the cart (if you saw me there, I apologize!). I'd push the cart forward, grab the next item and repeat. I am sure I was a sight to see. She cried the entire time I was in the store, then took it up a whole other notch when I tried to put her back in her car seat so we could drive home. The poor thing exhausted herself so much that this is what I had when we finally arrived home:

Note the bag of groceries being held captive under her car seat.

Adorable? Yes. Great cooking partner? Hell no. So as we continue to adjust to life with a little one, fancy and fun has gone out the door and quick and easy meals have replaced them. Two of our favorite go to meals have been barbecue pork in the slow cooker and pesto chicken.

My slow cooker has probably become my best friend over the last 2 months (thank you C. Brown!). It is wonderful to be able to throw a few items in the cooker at the beginning of the day and return to it 8 hours later to find a delicious meal. It has saved me many-a-times. This one is actually a recipe that my mom had shared with me and it is oh-so-good. It is very similar to a pulled pork, but a million times more simple. So often I have spent hours preparing pulled pork, not to mention using an endless number of ingredients. This recipe requires 4 ingredients and about 10 minutes of your time.

Start off by cleaning and trimming your pork. Cover all sides with the rub of your choice, be it store bought or your own creation (I used an applewood rub). Place the pork in the slower cooker and add water until it reaches about half way up the pork. Cover and cook on high for 7-8 hours.

Once the meat is fork tender, drain the water keeping about 1 cup for the sauce. Next, shred the meat.

Add the cup of reserved water and about a cup of your favorite barbecue sauce (KC Masterpiece is obviously the best option here.) Stir together and let simmer on low for about 10-15 minutes.

Serve as is, or on a bun if you prefer and with the sides of your choice. Seriously, the easiest meal ever!

Our second quick and easy go to meal has been pesto chicken. Now, I know all of you are aware that I love growing my own basil. There is no better smell than that of freshly picked basil and the taste doesn't even compare to that of the store bought stuff. I also despise store bought pesto. It is just not the same as when you make it yourself. And pesto is so easy to make, there is no need to buy it.

To start off, take 2 cups of fresh basil and 1/4 cup of pine nuts and blend together. Add in 1/2 cup or so of extra virgin olive oil and blend until smooth. Finally add 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese.

On the thickest side of your chicken breast, using a knife, cut a pocket in the chicken. Add in about a tablespoon or so of the fresh pesto.

Cook the chicken at 425 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Add even amounts of the remaining pesto on top of the chicken along with a slice of tomato and a few drops of balsamic vinegar. Cook for 2 more minutes until the pesto and tomato have become warm.

I am sure someday soon I will be able to get back to cooking those fun, fancy meals (and in a few years, I have no doubt I will have that great cooking partner in my little Lyla! or at least a great cookie tasting partner.), but in the mean time, I'll continue to share some of the quick and easy ones I am relying on. And even on those shower-less, sleepless days, I know that I will always choose Lyla's beautiful smile over a home cooked meal. There is just nothing that can compare.